In light of having recently seen the movie "Fireproof" (and if you haven't see it yet, start by doing that), I wanted to share some thoughts that my wife and I have had with regard to fostering a healthy marriage. So here's my top ten list for husbands and wives. Enjoy!
10. Have only joint checking/savings accounts and credit cards. You don't need seperate accounts and having them will deter you from discussing finances, making purchasing decisions together and will increase the risk of using money sinfully.
9. Go to bed together. Unless you have jobs that start at radically different times it is a good practice to go to bed at the same time. In addition to protecting against sin there's also something to your spouse being the last one you see when you close your eyes and first one you see when you wake-up.
8. Be intentional about doing things together. This could include having a regular date night, working out, doing chores around the house (e.g. dishes) or running errands (e.g. grocery shopping). Obviously this is complicated when you have kids but even then it seems like a good practice to carve out regular time to spend doing something together.
7. Make it a regular pratice of telling your spouse "I love you" before you go to sleep and before departing for work or other activities. This will both remind you of your commitment to the covenant of marriage and be an encouragement that you are loved.
6. Eat meals together regularly (and not in front of the TV). Make it a habit to eat as many meals as possible together on a regular basis. This provides a great opportunity to talk about your day and anything else that might be on your mind.
5. Sit next to/cuddle with your spouse while you're watching movies or TV shows. We've made it a point to have a couch rather than recliners in front of our TV so that we can be close to each other while we watch shows.
4. Try to regularly contact each other once a day to see how things are going. Call your spouse at work or home to check-in, say hi, and see if he/she needs anything.
3. Know the best time for you and your spouse to be intimate and then set aside that time regularly.
2. Learn each other's quirks and then respect them. If your wife wants the toilet seat down, work on making that a regular practice instead of complaining about it or purposely leaving it up. This expresses love and care for your spouse.
1. Spend time regularly reading Scripture and praying together. This can be ackward at first but persevere in it. Ask your spouse once a week how you can pray for him/her and then do it.
This list is certainly not exhaustive but I believe it contains helpful suggestions for building and maintaining a healthy marriage. Also, none of this can replace the centrality of Jesus Christ in a healthy marriage but these can be practical ways that the gospel shines forth in the covenant commitment of marriage. If you have other suggestions I'd love to hear them.
By God's Grace, Jeff
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